D.C. Cab (1983)

This is a tale of a hapless group of cabbies and a rundown cab company owned by Harold. Albert comes to town with a dream of starting his own cab company but needs to motivate Harold's employees to want to make something out of themselves. It is only when Albert is kidnapped that the cabbies must decide whether or not they are loyal to Albert and his cause. D.C. Cab is another one of those forgotten classics to come out of the 1980s that is an immeasurable amount of fun. It's got everything you could want from an 80s movie with some hilarious characters, humorous gags, music that makes you groove and a bit of nudity on the side. It follows a similar path to other popular flicks like Police Academy (1984) or Bachelor Party (1984) with the soul intent on giving you some wild, mad, carefree entertainment. I admit when I put it on for the first time, I was completely absorbed and lost myself in the wacky weirdness of this brilliant adventure. I came across this film mainly by accident after finding the vinyl of the soundtrack for it. I was instantly drawn in by the poster that looked like immense absurdity (my kind of movie) but also because it had Mr. T on the cover. I am a big fan of his, especially for his performance in The A-Team (TV Series 1983-1987), and I was so excited to see him in a big-picture production. He was phenomenal as usual even though only a minor part as Samson bringing many traits of his characters over from the show, protecting people, looking out for everyone else and fighting off the opposition. The rest of the cast are equally entertaining with their own characteristics that make each one memorable in this ocean of comical figures. There's Harold the ex-Vietnam veteran and boss, Dell who is unpleasant and rude, Xavier who thinks he's a lady's man, Bob the ambitious keyboardist, Buddy and Buzzy the strongmen, Bongo who loves to sing and dance, Ophelia who has a habit of being robbed on her round, Mr. Rythm who loves to advise others from his broken cab and Tyrone who is completely mad, always flipping out and playing jokes. Finally, there is Albert, who we follow the most as he enters the business. Whilst learning from each person on the crew, he would band them together to improve the company and make a name for themselves. The earlier part of the film (I'd say about the first 1/4) felt like a practically different product from the later half. It was full of sexual themes, jokes and nudity (with plenty of topless women at a club) that just evaporated from the remaining segment of the movie. When I say it felt different, I actually had to check I was watching the same film, but in all honestly, I had no problem with it and began to love it even more. The way I see it, it was representing the kind of business they were dealing with and how unrespectable they were before the big change around. The cabs and office were equally in a disregarded state that is worked around to a bigger brighter future with glamourous cabs and matching uniforms, rivalling their competition and warding off Bravo, the persistent city Hack Inspector. However, things take a turn when the company is caught up in a scandal after Albert is kidnapped along with two important children and framed as the kidnapper. With D.C. Cabs shut down, the group banded together to rescue Albert after what he did for them and their jobs. All kinds of hysterical capers ensue during the search from them crashing into the wrong house to disrupting a drive-in theatre, impersonating the police and getting into a high-speed pursuit. The group's redemption and turnaround were truly delightful to watch and seeing them all band together in the end was awesome. One of the other notable aspects of this flick was the fantastic soundtrack, which includes the work of Giorgio Moroder and Irene Cara, who even has a cameo appearance in a scene with Tyrone, who was an obsessed fan. My favourite song might have to be The Dream, by both artists that is incredibly catchy and matched with the joyous credits at a parade. Overall, I absolutely had a blast and though I know it might not be everybody's cup of tea, but it is certainly mine. It is one I would highly recommend for those looking for some zany amusement.

Runtime: 1h 40m

Director: Joel Schumacher

Genre: Action / Comedy 

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The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Tis the season for love, laughter and one of the most cherished stories of all time. Join Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy and all the hilarious Muppets in this merry, magical version of Charles Dickens's classic tale. One fateful Christmas Eve, Scrooge is visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future. Together with kind, humble Bob Cratchit and his family, these Spirits open Scrooge's eyes and heart to the true meaning of Christmas. It's funny to think that one of the best depictions of the classic tale of a Christmas Carol would come in the form of the Muppets. There have been plenty of versions to come out over the decades that are quite phenomenal and play it extremely seriously. This one can combine the best of the more faithful takes with their Muppet ways from jokes, songs and hilarious twists. Yet, surprisingly, it works and has become one of the most beloved variations of them all that is certainly quality family viewing. Naturally, the Muppets steal the show with their bizarre and wacky ways that come as no surprise. It was incredible watching this Victorian setting full of humans and puppets alike with, of course, the muppets being their comedic selves like a salesman selling talking fruit. Even if you haven't seen any other products from the Muppets, I can easily see people having a blast with this movie. Although it would certainly make the viewing more entertaining with more background knowledge, it is still a blast for any moviegoer, especially children. One of the great highlights of this movie is Scrooge played outstandingly by Michael Caine, who plays the character with the utmost seriousness. It only goes to show what an exceptional actor he is doing it as though it was an utterly dramatic role whilst acting off of puppets. Every scene he is in is just oozing with solemnity, whether it be with another human character or a Muppet. His growth throughout the film is very earnest and quite believable. Throughout his story, we are joined by the fourth-wall-breaking comedy duo Charles Dickens (The Great Gonzo) and Rizzo the Rat. Seeing Gonzo get so into his role as Dickens was hilarious. He is so absorbed by it all, believing himself to be the historical figure, proving it so by announcing coming scenes moments before they happen to Rizzo's amazement. Gonzo and Rizzo work tremendously off one another, having tremendous banter with Gonzo getting so engaged in every sequence, whereas Rizzo is always looking for his next meal. They watch on with us and work as a segway into each new part of the story, cracking the odd joke either in the environment or with one another. The rest of the Muppet crew take equally memorable places with Bob Cratchet being Kermit, and Mrs Cratchet, Miss Piggy who are both iconic in their own right but in these roles too. Kermit is always a delight and Miss Piggy continues to be her temperamental self. I adore the scene where she threatens to raise Scrooge right off the pavement, which always has me in hysterics. However, the most impressive aspect of this production as a whole has to be the songs. There are so many catchy, emotional and joyous songs to be entertained by. This includes 'Scrooge', 'One More Sleep 'til Christmas', 'Marley and Marley', 'It Feels Like Christmas', 'Bless Us All', 'Thankful Heart' and 'When Love Is Found'. Now, there is one song that did make it into the film upon its release and home media but has since been removed in a shocking development. 'The Love Is Gone' was the song sung by Belle during the story when she releases Scrooge, which is naturally an emotional piece that, whilst sad, is an integral part of the story. It is also important as the later song at the end, 'When Love Is Found' plays it doesn't bear any impactfulness as the resolute to the other. The reasoning was Disney thought it was too mature and sad for younger audiences. Yes, it's meant to be sad and to remove it removes a huge element to the development of the film. Overall, I have always loved the Muppet Christmas Carol and will always hold a special place in my heart. It has been a family tradition to watch every Christmas Eve and is one I know will continue for years.  

Runtime: 1h 29m

Director: Brian Henson

Genre: Comedy / Drama / Family / Fantasy / Musical

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Santa Claus: The Movie (1985)

A master toymaker discovers a magical kingdom of elves whilst out delivering his toys during a stormy blizzard at the North Pole where he becomes Santa Claus. But when his eager-to-please elf, Patch, leaves for the big streets of New York City, he becomes mixed up with a dastardly toy tycoon's plan to take over Christmas. And so begins his adventure to rescue Patch and to save Christmas for all the children of the world. Santa Claus: The Movie follows a unique look into the origins of Santa, showing how he came to be the magical being who flies his eight reindeer and sleigh all across the globe. It was a fascinating depiction and I love seeing how it all began hundreds of years ago, in the Middle Ages with him being a woodcutter who carves toys. He delivers from town to town every Christmas with their trusty reindeer, Donner and Blitzen plus his wife, Anya bringing joy to all the people. However being caught in a terrific blizzard, they are hammered by the cold weather until they are saved when a bright light appears, followed by many elves who guide them to their new home. It is here thanks to its magical presence that the pair of them are blessed with eternal life like the elves, including the reindeer who are now joined by the remaining six Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet and Cupid. Whilst also there, Mr Claus first receives his name Santa from the ancient elf who further tells him how he will deliver all the presents made to the children of the world in one night with the magic that allows the reindeer to fly. It was certainly a magical moment to see the build-up to this eventful first flight as we see the many goings on of the kingdom and how the pair take it all in. We are in just as much awe as them as we see the grand-scale display of the workshop with the countless elves who occupy every stretch of it. There is an incredible amount of detail in every scene to be appreciated from the clock to the toy-like operated machines used to make toys. Throughout this marvellous kingdom is a constant feeling of warmth. It looks so welcoming and comforting, which is clearly the theme they were trying to portray and it works tremendously in my opinion across the board. Another notable event that occurs here is the making of Santa's iconic suit that goes from its traditional green to the more recognised red with its in-universe reasoning for its change. I also love the scenes of the letters arriving with children's requests and how its done, the introduction of the naughty and nice rules as well as Santa's reaction to the Night Before Christmas where he is taken aback by the comment, "A round little belly. That shook when he laughed, Like a bowl full of jelly". With Santa living forever, we see a progression of time up to the then modern day of the 80s where he comes to befriend two children particularly streetwise kid Joe and the kind upper-class Cornelia who takes pity on the boy. They are both okay, not too annoying but nothing massively special by any standards. We spend quite a bit of time with them over the varying Christmases but also with the second half of the story that takes a dramatic change with the popular elf, Patch, leaving to pursue his creative ideas in New York. It is there where he mistakingly sees toys being removed from a window due to being deemed unsafe as being very popular, therefore seeking out owner B.Z. to manufacture his goods. The remainder of the film is almost completely derived from the story laid out, not to say it is worse or bad but puzzling, to say the least. Naturally, B.Z. is deemed a bad guy who wants to further this publicity stunt of Patch's creation to benefit him and dethron Santa as the holiday's figurehead. B.Z. was certainly a villain you love to hate with his hilarious outbursts and Patch is a loveable elf with some crazy ideas that are meant well. This segment of the movie is full of twists, thrills and excitement that make for an entertaining final act that despite not fitting with the earlier section, is still engaging all the same. Overall, I still to this day adore Santa Claus: The Movie and is a firm favourite for me and my sister this holiday season. It has some amazing visuals, characters and effects with that added heart for the whole family to enjoy.

Runtime: 1h 47m

Director: Jeannot Szwarc

Genre: Adventure / Family / Fantasy

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The Nativity Story (2006)

In Nazareth, teenager Mary is betrothed to the local carpenter, Joseph. Mary is visited by an angel and told that she will fulfill a prophecy and as a virgin give birth to God's son, the savior of the world. Mary's pregnancy brings her the scorn of the community and Joseph struggles to believe her seemingly outlandish story. Meanwhile, a census forces every man and his family to return to his place of birth. Joseph and Mary set out on a long and arduous journey to Bethlehem that will coincide with the birth of Jesus. Over the years there have been plenty of iterations of this time-old tale but out of them all, this has to be one of the best in my opinion. This telling follows a realistic and lived-in approach that can be felt throughout in varying aspects from its acting, scenes, tone and picture. What I mean by this is I'm sure many are familiar with the bright and colourful depictions whereas this one has a slightly muted look and a more authentic appeal to the clothing/style. I think the overall look of this film has to be what makes it my favourite. I feel as though I have been transported into the time period and every shot feels glorious as it shows the vast landscapes travelled to Bethlehem or the grand cities. One of the most notable aspects of this version was a concentration on Mary and Joseph's relationship. They are both an important part of the Nativity story of course with Mary having the unorthodox pregnancy and Joseph claiming it to be his, protecting them. However, we don't get a great look into their relationship, which was an arranged marriage as Joseph loved her whereas she did not. With the further troubling appearance of a baby not belonging to Joseph, it made the situation more dire but with the guidance of an angel, he becomes more understanding. With the journey to Bethlehem, Mary comes to care for and love Joseph, which can be seen during a moment when Mary cleans Joseph's injured feet. I found their travel the most entertaining as we see countless snippets of their long journey from the troubles they encounter, the wonderous landscapes and the people. I found every scene fascinating, most especially to look at. The cinematography is nothing short of exceptional and gives such a scope and atmosphere packed into every section. Their story is an intriguing one to follow that most certainly shines thanks to actor, Oscar Isaac and actress, Keisha Castle-Hughes. Alongside their performance, everyone else does an equally fabulous job with the other most notable having to be the Three Wise Kings, Magi. They bring a delightful element to the film with their witty banter with one another, alternating from serious conversations to some light comical moments. I love how one of them, Gaspar, constantly disagrees about going, complaining all the way counting the days. That is until he arrives and sees for himself how tremendous the destination of the star was and what lay waiting there. The birth of Jesus was an exceptional sequence with the accompanied music of Mychael Danna who gives such a grandiose sensation to every scene and a calming effect for its tranquil segments. The visual of the stable was also just picture-perfect. It is a well-known piece of iconography and I felt that it was well represented here with the shepherds and Magi standing close by with the light of the star shining through a gap in the roof on Mary and her child. It was certainly a heartwarming depiction of the historical event that is sure to bring a smile to its viewers. I further like how much more weight the scene carries after a previous event that saw a shepherd give Mary and Joseph a moment to rest by a fire whilst exchanging some words, who would later visit them upon the angel's word, allowing them to interact once more. Overall, I have thoroughly enjoyed The Nativity Story for many years now as part of our family tradition at Christmas. It is one I have come to appreciate over time and will likely continue to do so over the following years to come. A brilliant telling of Jesus' birth that is definitely worth checking out this Christmas time. I would also recommend Jesus of Nazareth (TV Mini Series 1977) for not only its phenomenal depiction of his later life but for its version of his birth.

Runtime: 1h 41m

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Genre: Adventure / Drama / Family / History / Romance

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White Christmas (1954)

Having left the Army following WWII, Bob Wallace and Phil Davis team up to become a top song-and-dance act. Davis plays matchmaker and introduces Wallace to a pair of beautiful sisters (Betty and Judy Haynes) who also have a song-and-dance act. When Betty and Judy travel to a Vermont lodge to perform a Christmas show, Wallace and Davis follow, only to find their former commander, General Waverly, as the lodge owner. He's sunk his savings and his pension into the venture but it has yet to snow and it looks like he's on the verge of bankruptcy. They come up with a plan to help the General out, but a misunderstanding leads to a rift between Bob and Betty, leaving it to Phil and Judy to try and get them back together. White Christmas is one of the warmest feeling festive flicks I have ever encountered. Just something about the atmosphere gives off a comforting vibe that is accompanied by the spectacular cast who give this film life. We open to a grand setting of a demolished site during the Second World War with buildings in ruins with a small stage built in the centre. We get a glimpse of the performances done to boost the morale of the troops, especially during the Christmas period where we see Wallace and Davis doing some routines. It is one of my favourite scenes most likely for the set design but also the singing of Crosby's iconic 'White Christmas' which he is most well known for and a farewell song featuring the whole crew to their commander in a heartfelt moment. As it ends the site is bombed and a wall almost falls on Wallace who is luckily saved by Davis who 'injures' his arm and uses this to guilt trip him into forming a duo act in performing. They of course become a renouned success after the war but Davis sets his sights on some time to relax and attempts to settle Wallace down with a lady, also as a means of cheering him up. They later meet another duo act, sisters Betty and Judy Haynes where the two fall for the other ladies. Each of the main cast are of course singers and performers who translate their skills onto the big screen in a plethra of ways. Bing Crosby brings his delightful singing, Danny Kaye offers his energetic dancing and comedy, Vera-Ellen her spectacular dancing and Rosemary Clooney supplies her beautiful voice. Each brings a definitive trait that sets them apart from the rest whilst also combining their talents into a fabulous display, working off of one another. This can be best seen through Danny (Davis) dancing with Vera (Judy) in a striking display early on in the film full of stunts and some magnificent choreography. The group end up taking a joint holiday to Vermont where they bump into their old commander, General Waverly who now owns a lodge that is falling on bad times, which the duo attempts to fix. Using their popularity and influence with the aid of the sisters, Wallace and Davis bring over their show to entertain, plus arrange all the soldiers who served under the General to lift his spirits. Whilst at the lodge we see plenty of dancing segments mainly through the use of practising before the show, which fills gaps throughout the film for some dance numbers and pretty spectacles. Equally, we get some moments for songs with highlights revolving around Crosby (Wallace) and Rosemary (Betty) whose romance takes centre stage with its ups and downs. Their chemistry was incredible and was a romance that we, the viewers, wanted to see blossom to its fullest like Davis and Judy, which makes their eventual get-together all the more satisfying. My one gripe throughout the film was a slight absence of the look of Christmas. Its presence is certainly felt and talked about but with the lack of snow (until the end) and little decor at times felt as though it could be a film for any time of the year rather than a Christmas flick. However, towards the end, it all comes together with all the plot lines and payoffs coming to a close with that picture-perfect winter and a dazzling display of the festivities. Overall, I had a wonderful time and it's easy to see why it is many people's comfort movie. There are catchy songs, exquisite dances and it produces just the right feeling of warmth and joy. A perfect film for the perfect season.

Runtime: 2h

Director: Michael Curtiz

Genre: Comedy / Musical / Romance

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The Star Wars Holiday Special (TV Movie 1978)

It is Life Day, a holiday celebrated on Chewbacca's home planet of Kashyyyk. Chewie and Han Solo are trying to get home to Chewie's family waiting for him, but the Empire is out searching for the rebels. While we await their arrival, we look at the everyday life of a Wookiee family. Yes, people, it's the big one, the infamous Holiday Special. I honestly cannot believe that this actually exists, but it does, so we've gotta talk about it. Releasing a year after the blockbuster hit Star Wars (1977) we are reunited with the whole cast in an epic adventure, this time right from the comfort of your own home. What is this grand event, you may ask? Well, it is the exciting experience of watching Wookiees in their house doing menial tasks. That's right, you heard me correctly. Nothing envigorates me more than an hour and a half movie of watching Wookiees cook, play games and do varying other tasks. It is completely barmy that this is a real thing cause I am sure all Star Wars fans are aware, that Wookiees don't talk. They roar, grunt and growl so imagine an entire film revolving around this very notion with no dialogue. How can anyone honestly sit through this feature with a straight face or any level of seriousness? I think the first time I watched this it was as a joke simply to see how bad it was. The only good thing to come from it is the overwhelming amount of videos of people mocking it and all the memes. I adore watching YouTube videos like JonTron's and The Nostalgia Critic's reviews of this piece, they are hilarious and worth checking out. The three Wookiees we follow are Chewbacca's family, his son Lumpy, his wife Malla and his father Itchy who all make their first and last appearance in Star Wars. I found it bizarre that Chewie has a family because it raises too many questions. For instance, why did he leave them to join Han to be a smuggler? It's strange, to say the least. As previously mentioned, we watch them doing many activities leading up to the holiday. We see Malla doing cooking watching a viewscreen, Lumpy playing games and (worse of all) Itchy watching a holographic woman doing some peculiar stuff. It seems quite explicit without doing anything untoward and yet it still manages to feel wrong, bearing in mind that the family is in the other room. I cannot even begin to imagine the thought process behind this idea. Another baffling idea is watching Lumpy build something whilst watching a tutorial, which you'd think would be something you could do in real life with how much they show of it in excruciating detail, but no. It doesn't exist. Breaking up all these Wookiee antics is the occasional appearance of the original stars who somehow manage to feel slightly off. Not only that, they too are doing some strange tasks like Leia and C-3P0 doing paperwork. Things do take a more drastic turn when the Empire invade and occupies Chewie's home as they search for him. It is a pretty menacing aspect to see their enforcement of the family if it wasn't for one of the officers immediately watching Jefferson Starship on a hologram performance. One of the most memorable aspects of the entire special is an animated segment that sees Han, Chewie, Luke, R2 and C-3P0 encounter the deadly bounty hunter, Boba Fett in his first-ever canonical appearance before Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980). It easily stands out as the only good part of the flick even if some of the animation offers some nightmare fuel (Han Solo's face). There are plenty of other moments scattered throughout, from a singsong at the cantina to the dealings of trader, Saun Dann. However, the most unexpected thing to come of this, is Princess Leia singing about Life Day to all the Wookiees and the rest of the original crew. Overall, The Holiday Special is by far one of the worst creations to come from Star Wars and that is saying something. Fans don't like it, I don't like it, the actors didn't like it and, most of all, George Lucas didn't like it going as far as to say, "If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that show and smash it." If you want to see the entire special feature for yourself, check it out below, at your own peril... Happy Life Day!

Runtime: 1h 37m

Director: Steve Binder, David Acomba

Genre: Adventure / Family / Musical / Sci-fi

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Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger! (2012)

Anxious teacher, Mr Donald Peterson, starts a new job at an under-achieving school and quickly finds himself struggling to cope with a wild classroom assistant, a group of under-performing kids and his own very pregnant wife. Things only take a turn for the worse when the assistant, Mr Poppy, enters them in the National 'Song for Christmas' Competition against the wishes of the headmistress and Mr Peterson. However, Mr Poppy decides to go anyway, alongside the majority of the class, whilst also kidnapping Mr Peterson, who comes to face his fears on the treacherous road trip. Following the incredible Nativity! (2009), we follow Mr Poppy's misadventures with the same class of talented children, now joined by some new students as well as a new teacher. Mr Maddens has unfortunately left as he went with his girlfriend Jennifer back to Hollywood. It at least gives them a happy ending but it was certainly a shame not to see him again, as he was one of the film's strongest points. Thankfully, we are graced with the phenomenal performance of David Tennant as teacher, Mr Peterson. He is probably best known for his role as the most iconic Doctor in Doctor Who: The Revival Era (TV Series 2005-2017), which is where I was first introduced to his brilliance and was so delighted to see him in this wacky adventure. This film, whilst nowhere near as good as the first, is still a fantastic bit of entertainment. It's one I continue to enjoy watching to this day, especially with my sister as a part of our tradition. With any good sequel, it is usually expected to up the stakes of the previous title and we certainly got just that with this perilous journey. With Mr Maddens gone, the headmistress, Mrs Bevan, searches high and low for a replacement teacher to fill the gap, but with Mr Poppy recking havoc with the students, no one stays long enough. Finally, however, Mrs Bevan convinces Mr Peterson to stay to help herald in a new age for the school by bringing discipline to the class. Mr Peterson was an instant highlight due to his relatability throughout the story in varying ways. You really feel for the guy as we are told of his troubled upbringing of a strict Dad who favours his brother and is under the stress of his first baby on the way. It is hysterical watching him get mad, shout, panic and scream at all the wrong goings of the trip, but you can still empathise with him. This is definitely the case in scenes like using the boats down a river where Mr Peterson falls in and gets irate. It is a hilarious sequence that only later gets a bit more meaning as we hear stories about his father throwing him in the deep end when going swimming and how it terrified him, unlike his brother. Mr Poppy continues to be his usual bizarre self and keeps up his streak of idiocy as he strands the group in the middle of nowhere. His antics know no end as he abducts a donkey, throws a baby in the air and essentially abuses Mr Peterson. The students continue to be their delightful selves with many returning from the previous film with some new notable additions who steal scenes with their cute and amusing ways. Also returning is rival teacher, Mr Shakespeare, and despite not having as prominent of a role, he throws himself into every scene giving his usual magnificent performance during some comical moments. However, taking the head of rival in this picture is Rodrick Peterson, Donald's twin brother (played by Tennant as well), who conducts a choir and goes to great lengths to win the contest, including cheating. One of the best aspects of this film was seeing Tennant play against himself delivering some truly emotional scenes, which in itself is pretty funny. The contest itself is surprisingly dull. Not a single one of the songs is enjoyable and was quite honestly cringe and downright awful. Some songs outright bash the entire meaning of Christmas in a Christmas song competition, which is simply stupid. Naturally, St Bernadette's songs were superb and extremely catchy, therefore winning the contest. Overall, Nativity 2 is an entertaining follow-up that even though isn't as good as the first, offers that laid-back amusement perfect for the whole family this Christmas. Also, check out the next instalment in Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey? (2014).

Runtime: 1h 45m

Director: Debbie Isitt

Genre: Comedy / Family

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